8 Terrible Titles

8 Terrible Titles

8 Terrible TitlesI’ll be totally honest with you: I didn’t know what a Blog Hop was until I got tagged in this one. I imagined a bunch sci-fi fans in poodle skirts slow dancing to Jonathan Coulton in the dim purple glow of a thousand MacBook Pros. While I totally think that should still happen, turns out that’s not a Blog Hop. Not really anything remotely like it. A Blog Hop is a like chain letter, but instead of sucking, it’s fun. The rules for this one are simple: scroll through your manuscript (or, if you’re a non-writer, just grab the nearest paperback) and stop in random places. Whatever you land on becomes one of eight terrible titles. My fellow Sweet Sixteener, Jenny Moyer (whose YA debut ASHES FOR STARS is coming Spring 2016 from Henry Holt/Macmillan, and whose author photos make it seem like she has WAY more fun writing than I do, and which also make coffee look more delicious and less nefariously addicting than it is IRL) tagged me on Twitter to participate. So, if this post doesn’t meet your expectations, I will be blaming her. I’ve already left a mildly agitated voice mail for her publicist’s assistant. So. In the event that my debut YA novel SYMPTOMS OF BEING HUMAN has a title change, here are two thirds of a dozen lousy contenders: 1. A Herd of Witless Sweat Rags 2. How Ginny Weasley’s Presence Might Alter the Plot of Sense and Sensibility 3. Punches in the Straw 4. The Corners of Her 5. Chaotic, Unapologetic Thrashing 6. My Concrete-and-Stucco Suburban Prison 7. Amazon Gift Cards and Narcotics 8. Ten Billion Other People I hereby tag Kate Hart, Jen Maschari, and Melanie Conklin. Bring it, Sixteeners* *technically, it has already been broughten**. **not a real word

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Jeff Garvin

Author of SYMPTOMS OF BEING HUMAN. Vegan, Gryffindor, aspiring revolutionary.

Comments (10)

  • Jenny Moyer

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    Oh my gersh! You broughten it awesomely, Jeff! ‘dim purple glow of a thousand MacBook Pros…’ You had me laughing out loud (literally, I nearly jostled my dog off my lap) by your third sentence. Seriously, though–let’s sometime do your version of a blog hop…

    Reply

  • Marisa

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    #6 could be a legit title for UNDERWATER. Can I steal it?

    Reply

  • Erin L. Schneider

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    Oh the things we could do with these titles… Personally, #1 might be my favorite, but #2 isn’t too far behind…and #7 definitely smells of NYT best-seller potential!!! Yes, I agree, it has been broughten indeed!

    Reply

  • kathymacmillan

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    How Ginny Weasley’s Presence Might Alter the Plot of Sense and Sensibility – I want to read this. Now.

    Reply

    • Jeff Garvin

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      Mayhaps a short when I’m done with edits. And then the next book. And then the promotions…

      Reply

  • Janet B Taylor (@Janet_B_Taylor)

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    The more I read these, the more I’m totally leaning toward AMAZON GIFT CARDS AND NARCOTICS. Cause hey– maybe you’re on drugs, but at least you can buy books.. so that’s something…

    Reply

  • Kiersi

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    How does Ginny Weasley alter the outcome of SENSE & SENSIBILITY? I must know. These are hilarious, Jeff!

    Reply

    • Jeff Garvin

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      Kiersi, I imagine she’d raise quite a stir and leave a certain entitled gentleman scrambling to win back hearts.

      Reply

    • Jeff Garvin

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      Perhaps I could write a short fan fic to cover that.

      Reply

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